Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

[size=29]Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (published in May 1992) is a book by [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] offering many suggestions for improving men-women relationships in couples by understanding the [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] style and [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] needs of the opposite [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]. It spawned a series of follow-on books expanding on specific situations (see below).
The book, as suggested by the title, asserts the notion that [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] and [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] are as different as beings from other [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط].
Gray adopts this metaphor as the central theme of all his books and
seminars, likening men and women to the classical Roman god [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] and goddess [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] as [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط].
In contrast to some [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] (and [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]) who emphasize similarities between the sexes, Gray writes almost exclusively about [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]. Gray says that his "Martians" and "Venusians" are only [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] and cannot be applied blindly to individuals.
An example of the theories it offers is that women complain about
problems because they want their problems to be acknowledged, while men
complain about problems because they are asking for solutions. Other
concepts in the book are the difference between women and men's point
systems and how they react under stress
The point system

Gray suggests that men and women count (or score) the giving and
receiving of love differently. For men, they tend to give larger blocks
of points (20, 30, 40 points etc.) whereas for women they give each act
of love one point at a time.
Men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in a
relationship and if the balance becomes off and one person feels they
have given more than they have been given to, resentment flu develops.
This is a time when communication is very important to help bring the
relationship back into balance.
Example: A man might count a $200 present as 20 points, but a woman
will count each individual piece of the present as 1 point each. For
her, the total sum of points comes from the present as a whole. For
example, the different parts of the environment where the present is
given each get 1 point (candles, music, privacy, location etc.) the
card gets 1 point, the flowers get 1 point, the gift wrap gets 1 point
and the gift itself gets 1 point. Their totals may even out to be the
same, but it's the act of scoring that is different.
The emotional [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]
delivered by the sincere attention is as important as the value of the
item. This can lead to conflict when a man thinks his work has earned
20 points and deserves appropriate recognition while the female has
only given him 1 point and recognizes him accordingly.
[[ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]] The cave and the wave

Another major point of Gray's books are the differences in the way they react under [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط].
He believes that many men withdraw until they find a solution to the
problem. He refers to this as "retreating into their cave." In some
cases they may literally retreat, for example, to the garage or spend
time with friends. The point of retreating is to take time to determine
a solution. What is known is that men in their caves are not
necessarily focused on the problem at hand, many times this is a
"time-out" of sorts to allow them to distance themselves from the
problems so their brains can focus on something else. Gray posits that
this allows them to revisit the problem later with a fresh perspective.
Gray holds that this retreat into the cave has historically been
hard for women to understand because when they are stressed their
natural reaction is to talk about issues in order to find a solution.
This leads to a natural dynamic of the man [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] as the woman tries to grow closer. According to Gray this becomes a major source of [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] between any man and woman.
The "wave" is a term Gray uses to describe a natural cycle for women
that is centered around their abilities to give to other people. He
claims that when they feel full of love and energy to give to others
their wave is in a stable place. As they give to others (and don't
receive the same amount of love and attention given to them in return)
their wave begins to grow until it eventually crashes. This is a time
when a woman feels she has nothing else to give to those in her life
and she needs the love of those around her (including self love) to
help come out of this dark place. Gray holds that once she is
rejuvenated (by getting the support she needs) she is able to pop out
of this dark place and once again has love and energy to give.
[[ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]] Critical response

Some researchers agree with Gray's ideas about male-female communications differences. [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]'s studies of male/female communication find that "for women, talk creates [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]... But men live in a hierarchical world, where talk maintains independence and [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]."[ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]
found only a 2 percent difference between communication styles and
argues that "when it comes to comforting, the Mars-Venus concept is not
only wrong, but harmful. For the most part, men and women use, and
strongly prefer, the same ways of comforting others – listening,
sympathizing and giving thoughtful advice."[ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] However, other studies do not find such differences.
Some feminists have criticized the book for being [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] and patronizing [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]'s web site "The Rebuttal From Uranus" said:
When discussing relations with the opposite sex, one often hears the
complaint, "It's like she's from another planet!", while others accuse
it of being written as a 'self-improvement' book for women, blatantly
suggesting that women should adapt to men's ways of communicating,
rather than both genders co-operating.
"Despite its promotional hype, at its very core it is a sexist,
patronizing, male-centered invective which does little more than
perpetuate long-held negative gender stereotypes"
Hamson objects to the lack of reference and details about the
research Gray claims to have made, as well as to two central points
which she feels Gray makes in his book:

"that men fulfill active roles and are seen as ambitious and powerful. Women, however, satisfy [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط] roles"; and,
"although the author may grudgingly admit that women are cognizant
human beings, they must necessarily take a back seat to the dominant
male in their lives in order to routinely accommodate his wants and
desires." [ندعوك للتسجيل في المنتدى أو التعريف بنفسك لمعاينة هذا الرابط]

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